angels_facade: (My voice will not be cast away)
My girls are going to be four in nine days! Which is pretty unbelievable, frankly. Four.

They are able to tell me what they want for their birthday this year, which is kind of amazing. We're having a big party at Peter's, since there's no lawn here. They want a purple cake (ew) and while their requests for presents are harder to fill (Zoe Rei wants a Snuggalupagus and Bianca wants a hundred ponies) they can have a nice day with their little friends.

They have friends. My daughters have friends!
angels_facade: (Oooh Tongue me baby)
Children are hilarious! I found Zoe in my closet, trying on pretty much everything I own at once. Including my sexy purple burlesque bra, which was on her head.

Me: "Zoe! What are you doing?"
Zoe: "I want to be a fly, mum!"
Me: "What?"
Zoe: "Flies have wings!"
Me: "....what?"
Zoe: "Aunt Tal said your clothes make you fly!"

I might have died laughing. Tallulah said I looked fly and Zoe thought that meant if she dressed like me she would sprout wings. Brilliant. So I gave her my faerie wings and she flitted around the warehouse for hours while Bianca and I played basketball with their little hoop thing.

Day care is going well. Though if Zoe keeps swearing at the teachers we might have to find a new place... Oops. Apparently she 'don't want no feckin' orange juice!' My parenting skills lose SO many points...
angels_facade: (Screams)
I just had a miscarriage and I didn't even know I was pregnant. I wasn't going to say anything, but I can't just...augh. I'm in RMMH just in case. I'm really upset. I don't want to do anything stupid. Here is safe. I'm safe from me. Just in case. Witness my fucking growth, bitches.

Thing is, I don't even know who's baby it was because...god, I've been with about four or five guys over the past few months and they said the baby was about two months along.

Two months and I had no idea. I had another person with me for two months and now they're just gone.


I can't keep doing this. Sleeping around to numb pain. I made a human. Another one. And then killed them. God, I am so fucking worthless.
angels_facade: (Eater of animal crackers)
There was this weird guy today...I went into a bookstore to buy a naughty book for Pierre's birthday (I didn't just give away your present, P and you'll see why) and he was in there browsing and he came over to me and it was just...weird. He was all, "what are you looking for? I could help you choose" bleh bleh bleh bleh creepy voice bleh. He seemed perfectly normal, but it freaked me out. He was...weird. He just felt weird and I didn't like it and then he followed me around so I left without a present. Ew.

Feeling like shit. Mega loathsome shit.

Someone come cheer me up?
angels_facade: (Eyeses)
Hey, Jinx.

Want to go out for a movie, dinner, and then shag? Ethan's got the kids tonight and I need to get my head out of my ass for a while.
angels_facade: (Lovely Mr. Buns)
It's my birthday (early hours) and I can't sleep because clowns will eat me.

My girls are three. They turned three on the 13th. Still processing.

Been thinking about switching courses, but I don't know. I've been doing physical therapy for a long time and I'm almost done, but now I feel so...otherwise motivated. Or not motivated.

My oldest children are three and already they have lost one parent. The others seem to know what they want to do. Why do I have to be the losery, lost, emo one?! I want to give my children a good life. I want to be someone they can look up to. But at the moment, all I do is get up on stage and shake my arse and fondle Chloe (which is awesome btw) and I have no idea if any of it matters at all.
angels_facade: (Stomach)
There are four children in the house! It's awesome!

Stuff at Lugosi's is going well. School is going well. I'm not flipping out like I have been. I think...I really think things are going to be okay. I really miss my wife, but I'm going to be okay.

Also? The new band is amazing and I love it!
angels_facade: (Lugosi's~*Strips*)
We'll be one more housemate down by next weekend. We're trying to decide now if the empty room becomes another nursery, or if we have someone else in. No one would fit in as well as our Izzy! They'd be coming in to a rather strange family of three parents and four children, two marrieds and one widow and who belongs to whom...I imagine it would be a bit like being told to dart down a dark alley with one's head cut off while having cabbage and lox thrown at you.

At least we're lovely lox...

Theo has gotten so big! I've been spending all my free time with him and my girls. Children really are amazing, aren't they? I started back at Lugosi's which is going well. Uni too.

Life is getting back on track. *deep breath* Let's keep it that way.

And yes, I'm stripping in the icon. Straight jacket Lugosi's fun!
angels_facade: (God Help Me 2 arrow)
It's been a really long year... )

Here's to 2010. I'm ready to move on.

Today Ethan and Kali told me they are adopting my Theo. It's all been accepted and everything has worked out... This now means I will have to live with them my entire life, and all of our kids well apparently have three parents, but...who can complain, right? I saw my son again and held him in my arms. He's being adopted by two people who accept me as his mother as well... And two better parents would be hard to find.

I am so in love with everything right now...

Merry Christmas.
angels_facade: (Lugosi's~Shadow)
Oh my GOD. I took Serenity to meet the parents because she's the only person who seems to be able to keep me calm and happy these days. It was just a casual thing and when Mum opened the door, nothing was strange. Until Father walked in and flipped out.

Apparently Serenity used to date him. My father. While he was married. Apparently she is the 'Serena' who broke my parents up.

What the FUCK do I do now?!
angels_facade: (Fatalistic Fortune)
I'm so sorry.

I told Serenity. She says she's sorry too. So sorry. Shit.


I'm sorry.
angels_facade: (Demure again)

Meet me at the airport tomorrow?!
angels_facade: (Screams)
Chlo, will you come out with me?

Bi's here and I...yeah, I can't. Not right now.

angels_facade: (Fuck on baby)
Today a social worker came, and she took Theo away. Apparently without Alessa, I offer an unstable home.

Yes, because losing my wife AND MY GODDAMN SON is so going to KEEP me from offing myself, you goddamn fucking whores. FUCK YOU I want him back :(

I want them both back.
angels_facade: (Thinking of you)
David, I know things are !!! right now. But if you need time to unwind, you know you're always welcome here. For whatever 'unwind' might mean.
angels_facade: (ZOMG it's the Playboy Bunny)
Oh dear god, I have decided that Theo makes the best faces ever. Of course I say this and the next second Zoe comes in her wearing Kali's knickers on her head. And Bianca is pointing at her and laughing. Oh, I've raised them well!

I miss Tamm and Kay and I want them to come back and we can put the babies all together and watch them play! The girls are so cute with Theo. They're fascinated by him. Bianca asked me why he had small ears.

Having kids is just the most incredible thing.
angels_facade: (Demonic)
You absolute fucking monster.
angels_facade: (My voice will not be cast away)
It's my birthday!! Come worship me and love up my children!!

Our son is amazing. He's so small and beautiful. I haven't slept in days and I don't care. I'm so happy. So very, very happy.

angels_facade: (Proud)
Alessa and I are going to adopt a little boy!! He was born a few days ago and we plan on giving him so much love he won't know what to do with it. He gets to come home to us tomorrow, which gives us one day to buy a million things. But Peter the softy is going baby shopping with us this afternoon. We can use most of the stuff from the girls over again since we still have one of everything. I think Katie has the other one still? But we need newborn diapers and bottles and everything again. As well as boyclothes! I'm so excited! We're going to be his caretakers until the adoption is finalised so he gets to be with us for the whole process.

My girls just turned two and now there will be another tiny baby in the house! I'm so happy!

His name is Theodore :) And I'll show off pictures of his adorableness later!!
angels_facade: (Lugosi's~*RIP*)
Today I was sulking because no one's found Thomas yet, so I went to visit Chloe. Because Chloe's still here and that's important. I chatted with Tallulah, who is a riot and a half, and then I came home and I was sulking more. And then my daughter Zoe came up to me and gave me a picture of a flower she'd found in a book. Which, destruction of property aside, was absolutely darling.

And then, not to be outdone, Bianca made up a song about Mummy and stars and fishes, which was adorable and now I want to put it to metal.

For I am hardcore.

I'm not okay about Thomas. I want him found. I love him. And I'm terrified about this disease because it keeps hurting the people I love. My best friend's daughter and my cousin Anna and dear Allanah. God forbid it get to anyone else. (You're being careful with yourself, Mara and James, right, Spectre? And D Ro, what about you?) But life here in my safe little haven? It's good.
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