angels_facade | (no subject)

Oh God, I totally gave birth. To two perfect daughters! Zoe Rei Whitney-Sunderland was born first and she was shortly followed by Bianca Isabelle Whitney-Sunderland. And goddamn dude, am I glad epidurals exsist. So fecking glad. The babies were early, so they have to stay in the NICU for a little while. I kind of hate that because I want them here with me. I've been with them for so long...I miss them. But I've been there a lot, learning how to care for premature babies and everything. Then they send me home. It's so weird. My daughters have feeding tubes because they're not strong enough to nurse yet. They're still being fed milk from me (wweeeiiirrrddddddd I make milk) but it's not the SAME. Mleh, I want them. I can't even hold them, but they let us put our hands in the incubators. Ethan is so adorable around them. He loves them and he keeps asking if everything's sterile. "Should that be in here? Is that safe? Are they really okay in there." What a darling. What a wonderful father. Though he is going to have to learn to stress less.

And so am I.

I'm feeling empty. But I'm HOME and I can move around now. Anyone want a visit?