Filtered to Pierre

[angels_facade]

Kali's not taking her pills anymore and it's freaking me the fuck out. She's pretending everything is fine, but it's pretty obvious she's not taking them. She hides things about as well as I do. Which is to say, not well. Ethan hasn't noticed, but his Mum is ill and he's bothering ME about things and he thinks she's actually doing better which...kinda breaks my heart a little.

And I'm lonely and annoyed and hormonal and :(

And Peter flew to America. What the crap is that about?

Comments

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I would never pressure you into spending time with me if that was not what you wanted, but I would miss you very much. I know you said it was not my fault, but... did I do something to hurt you? By accident and unknowingly?

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

No no. Not at all. It just hurts to be around you. And it hurts to not be around you.

Goddammit, I hate myself sometimes.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

Kat... I'm so sorry... I wish this were something in my power to help. But I think perhaps it is the farthest thing away from something I can do something about. Ah, look at my sentences make bad English sense.

I wish so hard for a way to make everyone happy.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

Your English makes perfect sense. And please believe me when I tell you that you did nothing wrong. You do nothing wrong. None of this is your fault. You're just too wonderful. Your friendship is invaluable to me and it's not something I would ever give up even though it's incredibly painful at the moment. I know it won't always be. I know one day I'll wake up and being friends with you will be enough. Maybe enough isn't the right word. But I know I won't long for more.

I'm so happy that you have Del too, don't think I'm not. You should be happy and you deserve to be with the woman you love. When I said you were a good couple and you'd figure it out, I meant every word of it. I'm not someone that would hold a relationship against someone, especially not one that started long before I met them. I just want you to understand why sometimes it's hard. But please don't stop coming to see me. And don't stop confiding in me. Being your confidante makes it all easier oddly enough.

I'm rambling. I should stop.

But man saying all that really fucking helped. And now I'm going to cuddle Renee because she needs it. But I'll stop by and give you a hug, okay?

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

You are such a wonderful friend to me. I do not think there are many people who could feel as you do and still give their all. I think perhaps I have tried not to see all that you feel because I would feel responsible for your pain. But now that you have said all that, I feel much better too. Once again we prove it is better, at least between us, for things to be said. That is a very good feeling. After this, I think we know better than ever that anything and everything can pass between us without judgment, bitterness or harsh words. As you say, it is invaluable.

Thank you for your very lovely words about me and Del. I know you see how much I try to put into that relationship to be there for Del and our child. Sometimes it is hard because she is so independent and needs to not need me so much. But I do the very best I can, and I know that she does too, and that is what matters the most.

I am very, very glad you do not want to stop seeing you or confiding in you. I could not begin to express what a great loss that would be to me. You have been a huge part of how I have gotten through recent times. Everything would be so much harder without you.

I love that you will be there for Renee. You see how you are wonderful for people? And thank you, I will be very happy to see you :)

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

It is better for things to be said. I'm glad I said them. They've been festering and I feel a lot better. I'm glad you aren't like "GO AWAY, CRAZY STALKER LADY!" I'm glad I help you. Really.

I'll try to see how wonderful I am for people. I think so far though, all I see is that I've made Ethan afraid to eat because he thinks I'll yell at him. Ethan afraid to eat. I never thought I'd see the day!

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

Festering is bad, that is why we did not like the Plague!

Oh dear. I would suggest making Ethan afraid not to eat, but then his brain might explode. Maybe I should just make him some nachos instead to get him back into the habit ;) Not to mention keep my title of Nachohead!

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

*snort*

Oh god. I love you. You're crazy.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I love you too! :)