Filtered to Pierre

[angels_facade]

Kali's not taking her pills anymore and it's freaking me the fuck out. She's pretending everything is fine, but it's pretty obvious she's not taking them. She hides things about as well as I do. Which is to say, not well. Ethan hasn't noticed, but his Mum is ill and he's bothering ME about things and he thinks she's actually doing better which...kinda breaks my heart a little.

And I'm lonely and annoyed and hormonal and :(

And Peter flew to America. What the crap is that about?

Comments

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

Kali's not taking her pills? Why would she do something like that? She cannot find the right combination if she does not take them...

Why is Ethan bothering you, sweetie?

I'm really sorry to hear about Victoria. Maybe I should send her something... Jinx and I could put together something nice.

Peter went to America because he is worried about Deirdre. We have not seen her since O'Doherty got arrested, and he wants to make sure that she is okay while she is far away from everyone.

Do you want to come over, or for me and Renee to come and visit you? We cannot help with the hormonal, but we can certainly take care of the lonely.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

The pills are just making her so sick...I hope she's not giving up. Pierre, I don't know what I'd do without her.

He's just getting me to eat and sleep and...move. It's good bothering. He's being a good pre-Father it's just that that means he hasn't noticed Kali's not taking the pills and I don't know if I should point it out. I don't really want to see his head explode.

You're very sweet. I'm sure Victoria would like that. I think she just has the flu, but it's still never pleasent. I'm not allowed to visit because...pregnant.

Oh dear. I hope they're both okay then.

And you don't have to. You probably have enough to deal with. Sorry! If I'd known I wouldn't have bothere you.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

Kat... hearing from you is never bothering me. I would never want you to hold anything back because you thought otherwise. I am very happy and honoured that you confide in me. I love you.

I cannot imagine Kali giving up. That does not seem like her at all, from the time I have known her. I can understand not wanting to feel sick, but surely she will realise that it will be worth it in the long run. Maybe she just needs a few days to feel okay before she puts herself back into the feeling sick again? Just to remember what it is she is trying to be?

I'll see what we can do for Victoria, then!

Ethan has so much to focus on that I am not surprised he misses things. He is probably very glad of something to be happy about if it makes Kali feel and act like she is better. I do not think it is good to keep it from him though if it lasts much longer. Maybe give her a few more days and if nothing changes, he should know?

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

Always the optimist.

Okay. I'll give her a few more days.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I think if I were anything else, I would not last so long.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

It's okay, I know it's not your fault you feel down. I just thought that if I wasn't helping any more, maybe it was best to leave you alone for a while. I'm sorry if it made you feel bad! It was not what I meant.

I'm not always the optimist. But as I said, I would not last very long if I were not most of the time. I would drown under everything. And when I try so hard not to, I do not want to see it happen to others, either. I hate that there are such things oppressing you. You are a person who should be free and vibrant. So much time we spend together, you are still that person, and I know it is the real you. It is very unfair that something you did not plan can sometimes change that. But I know it's not you. I would never hold it against you. But I think maybe I am still looking for the best way to help, and maybe I have not found it yet. But I will keep trying. It is what I want to make you smile :)

I am very sorry that you felt so bad, and I hope Isabelle helped you to feel better. She is a very lovely girl and I would like to know her more. She seems to do wonderful things for everyone she meets. It is just like you do :)

I would still like very much to see you if you feel like it. I think we understand each other better in person than we do in typing.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

It's not your fault. Everything hurts. Everything.

I don't know, Pierre. Maybe I shouldn't be around you for a little while.

Though I don't know how long I could stand that. Probably about a microsecond.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I would never pressure you into spending time with me if that was not what you wanted, but I would miss you very much. I know you said it was not my fault, but... did I do something to hurt you? By accident and unknowingly?

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

No no. Not at all. It just hurts to be around you. And it hurts to not be around you.

Goddammit, I hate myself sometimes.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

Kat... I'm so sorry... I wish this were something in my power to help. But I think perhaps it is the farthest thing away from something I can do something about. Ah, look at my sentences make bad English sense.

I wish so hard for a way to make everyone happy.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

Your English makes perfect sense. And please believe me when I tell you that you did nothing wrong. You do nothing wrong. None of this is your fault. You're just too wonderful. Your friendship is invaluable to me and it's not something I would ever give up even though it's incredibly painful at the moment. I know it won't always be. I know one day I'll wake up and being friends with you will be enough. Maybe enough isn't the right word. But I know I won't long for more.

I'm so happy that you have Del too, don't think I'm not. You should be happy and you deserve to be with the woman you love. When I said you were a good couple and you'd figure it out, I meant every word of it. I'm not someone that would hold a relationship against someone, especially not one that started long before I met them. I just want you to understand why sometimes it's hard. But please don't stop coming to see me. And don't stop confiding in me. Being your confidante makes it all easier oddly enough.

I'm rambling. I should stop.

But man saying all that really fucking helped. And now I'm going to cuddle Renee because she needs it. But I'll stop by and give you a hug, okay?

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

You are such a wonderful friend to me. I do not think there are many people who could feel as you do and still give their all. I think perhaps I have tried not to see all that you feel because I would feel responsible for your pain. But now that you have said all that, I feel much better too. Once again we prove it is better, at least between us, for things to be said. That is a very good feeling. After this, I think we know better than ever that anything and everything can pass between us without judgment, bitterness or harsh words. As you say, it is invaluable.

Thank you for your very lovely words about me and Del. I know you see how much I try to put into that relationship to be there for Del and our child. Sometimes it is hard because she is so independent and needs to not need me so much. But I do the very best I can, and I know that she does too, and that is what matters the most.

I am very, very glad you do not want to stop seeing you or confiding in you. I could not begin to express what a great loss that would be to me. You have been a huge part of how I have gotten through recent times. Everything would be so much harder without you.

I love that you will be there for Renee. You see how you are wonderful for people? And thank you, I will be very happy to see you :)

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

It is better for things to be said. I'm glad I said them. They've been festering and I feel a lot better. I'm glad you aren't like "GO AWAY, CRAZY STALKER LADY!" I'm glad I help you. Really.

I'll try to see how wonderful I am for people. I think so far though, all I see is that I've made Ethan afraid to eat because he thinks I'll yell at him. Ethan afraid to eat. I never thought I'd see the day!

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

Festering is bad, that is why we did not like the Plague!

Oh dear. I would suggest making Ethan afraid not to eat, but then his brain might explode. Maybe I should just make him some nachos instead to get him back into the habit ;) Not to mention keep my title of Nachohead!

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

*snort*

Oh god. I love you. You're crazy.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I love you too! :)