Filtered away from Ethan and Kali

[angels_facade]

Am I allowed to just give up, or is that a nono?

Damn it all.

Comments

[juniper-berries.livejournal.com]

Sweetie? Do you need someone to come over?

[lovelyobscene.livejournal.com]

No giving up. Isabelle is away but I'm around if you need anyone. (I think of myself in more of an adult role than your friends.)

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

Even if we said it was okay to give up, I don't think you would let yourself. You are far too strong for that. As tempting as it might seem, I know you have so much self-respect that you would never abide giving up in anything.

I'm here for you, Kat. When it feels like it is too much, I will always be here. You know I understand.

[empress-tasha.livejournal.com]

You're not the giving up type, sweetheart. And you have friends left, right and centre whenever you need anything. It'll be okay, darling.

[seminalsemiotic.livejournal.com]

No matter how bad things get, we'll certainly never give up on you. And I know that you won't, either. We love you, darling.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

I just want all of it to go away. Even me sometimes. Do you understand that? Do you feel that way too?

Am I going mad?

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I don't think you are going mad. When you are surrounded by so much, I think it is natural to want to find a place that is alone.

Even though I am to be a father, I cannot imagine what it is like to be carrying a life inside me. Maybe that makes it hard to feel alone. I can understand if that is true. And if it is like that, then I can understand why you would want it to go away.

I don't think I have ever wanted me to go away. Maybe I would have felt that way before I moved to England, if I had been going through this same thing. But I have experienced so much, including things where I might have lost my life, that I could never want it to go away, no matter what the pressure was. At the same time, as much as they have taught me, I would never want you to go through such scary things. Then again, maybe they are no more scary than what we are facing now. It gets hard to tell.

I hope what I have said is helping, I am not sure if somewhere it just turned into rambling.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

It's helping that you care to say it.

I just don't want to do this. Or...anything at all anymore. I could just let myself starve to death. It would be so easy.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I know it feels easy, but I think you would soon realise that it wouldn't be. Not to leave the people you love, and who love you. I certainly don't know how I could begin to deal with losing you.

I do care, Kat. So very much. I love you. You have very quickly become one of my most cherished friends. Your support and solidarity mean more to me than I could ever tell you. Believe me when I say that nothing about you going away would be easy.

Do you want me to come and see you, Kat? We can talk in person if that would be better.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I don't know what's happening anymore.

[eligible-boy.livejournal.com]

I'll come see you then. You can always ask me to leave if it's not what you need. It'll be okay.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

Okay.

[angels-facade.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'll come over today if that's okay. Thank you.

[lovelyobscene.livejournal.com]

I'll see you when you arrive then.