(no subject)

[angels_facade]

Spamming. Can't stop thinking. I read Bianca's journals. Her written ones. She never did get in to the online one obviously. But she wrote in her other ones every day. She was so happy and it's good to read. A lot of the later stuff is worry about me. I read through my own LJ and...I used to be such a happy person. Carefree and cheerful and I hate this new me. Even before Bianca died. I hate what I've become. It's like...she fixed herself and I just became this mass of self pity and selfishness and a complete waste of space. And I hate it. I need someone to remind me of what I was before I let myself get lost and Bianca can't do it. At least I want to try?